LOLZ

It’s not even funny anymore when I’m in a depressed/sad disposition 90% of the time, and think about suicide every single goddamn day.

WHERE is my motivation for anything anymore?

Or the air keeps blowing at my eyes till they dry up…..

Or maybe I keep forgetting to blink….

Then every half an hour I hear myself screaming(not quite literally) that my eyes are burning/hurting….! ZzZzZz

Stupid news aside, it’s currently 1.15am on a Sunday morning and I’m trying to collate my DCOM presentation information, skimping on sleep sigh I am working later at 1030!!! ): And to top it off, here’s a list of what I have to get done too:

-dcom powerpoint

-dcom social media thingy

-packaging elevation views

-cut mounting board

-cut out proposed packaging

-emboss proposed packaging

-cd cover for packaging

-burn files into cd

-packaging design process(sketchbook and etc.)

-mount 3d and elevation views and cd cover

-cc ad

-cc brochure

-cc concept paper

-marketing report

-marketing strategy

BEST OF LUCK TO ME

by tao lin

pretty damn amazing. took the words right out of me.

From “postmodernism” and “digimodernism” I’ve seemed to unearth an endless list of movements and terms and history and philosophy and whatnot I AM SO EXCITED BUT THESE IS WAY TOO MUCH INFO MY HEAD IS HURTING.

Sobz

The beauty of dcom. I swear.

-buying onion rings-

Alright alright I succumbed to a bk cone and their new menu looks spiffy!

//

Anyway, back to where I was, I recalled in secondary one where the trainee English teacher relief-ed my class for a short while showed us “The Monkey’s Paw” (it’s a short story btw you can check it out here: http://www.americanliterature.com/Jacobs/SS/TheMonkeysPaw.html).

Also at that point in time. Oh, scratch that who am I kidding. My ENTIRE secondary school life(omg as I lick at my cone I smell onion rings hahaha) is all about having one too many run-ins with my form/English/history/ss teacher of 4 years mind you; oh how much I detest her(not detest-ed tyvm(and ironically she was one of the few people whom dared asked/said/pointed out that I am a thinker/but still that doesn’t stop me from hating on her)).

So somewhere along the timeline where we had discussions about TMP I think I had my usual run-in with her and she was saying that I was probably one of the very few that understood TMP wholeheartedly and yada yada I can’t even remember what I got into trouble for but most probably like what she had to say, a few others and I had “behavioural issues” YEAH WHATEVER you stinking 40-year-old-virgin(-and-probably-for-life-too)

Basically the point is(for those who bothered to click the link and read TMP), I don’t understand how HARD is TMP is…. It’s lucidity is almost 100% so…. I really don’t know what the fuck she is talking about.

And yeah alright I’m sorry for writing such a meaningless post but oh well. BAIIIIII (okay I actually did something good by letting you read a pretty good piece of literature (:)

This is the only difference between a human that has read classic literature and philosophy and a person that hasn’t:

The person who hasn’t read classic literature and philosophy just stands in Taco Bell and feels nothing but the need to get a taco.

A person that reads classic literature and philosophy can stand in a Taco Bell and feel all the beautiful irony of needing to get a taco.

I always ask myself what it is that I really want, to have such clarity? Or maybe I really could deal with losing all of it because all this is just emotional hemorrhage on the soul. I ~hate~ dilemmas. But can I really say this is self-inflicted? Probably not because I don’t have a choice, I have no control over my mind and being and what I am feeling.

It’s almost like every single time I see someone smiling/laughing I feel sadness ebbing away from them but crawling into me. Why can I /never/ experience even momentary happiness/contentment? I could do with much, much more cathartic activities, like writing, for example(but I’m just way too inadequate with my writing skills to even get a single goddamn thing off my chest).

But OH NO the world does not get it. I’m just being a melodramatic fucking bitch. Yeah whatever. I’m never as low-down  bitchy like you all.

Yeahyeah I’m ranting and being all melodramatic again I’M GONNA DO MY HOMEWORK NOW HMPH

But heck, let’s not, because the world could do with a bit more lies, a bit more deceit, and a lot less pain.

I feel extremely uninspired and tired. Really tired. Can someone book me a flight to somewhere quiet, peaceful, and full of nature please? [I tried continuing, but whatever came out just made me flipped with disgust and well, backspaced.]

Goodnight.